I have been meaning to write on here for a while now, but it seems I always have more important things to do here in real life.

I can't focus lately.  On anything.  I bounce from project to project at work, I am reading three books right now (or trying to), I have ideas and things I want to do rumbling around in my head, but for some reason I just can't put hands to them.  I don't know what the deal is with that. 

And actually, my life with God is going better than it has been.  Can you imagine the hurt I'd be in if it wasn't? I can just see myself wandering aimlessly around the office or running my finger across the piano keys as I walk by.  A couple of weekends ago I had the great privilege of leading worship for a women's day conference at Crossroads.  I gathered up a few good friends (shout outs to Amber Thompson, Carrie Wright and Susie Backes) and we got to lead worship for a couple hundred women.  It was really cool.  At this event (Winterfest 2009: Girlfriends Unlimited Paradise Cruise) we attended a cool class and I was introduced to a concept that I'd never even heard of before, though to some extent I have done it a little in the past.  It is called "Praying in Color" (check out the same titled book).  When you Praying in color is meant to enhance your personal prayer time and gives a visual and concrete element to your prayers.  It helps focus you and helps you, also, to remember what you have been praying about.  It's like a prayer journal with pictures.  You don't have to be artistically inclined or know the first thing about drawing.  You just pray and as you do, put down whatever God puts on your heart.  It's pretty cool.

Here's a peek into my new year's resolutions (yeah, you thought I forgot that I said I'd write them on here): I am not complaining about the weather in 2009.  It just seems a waste to spend about 3/4 of the year wishing it was a different time of year and seems much more glorifying to God to just appreciate whatever He gives.

Sermon today was great.  About Isaac and Ishmael.  13 years after Abraham had Ishmael with Hagar God came to him and told him he would have a son with his wife and his name would be Isaac and that through Isaac the covenant with God's people would be established and he would be blessed greatly.  What was Abraham's response?  He asked God, "but what about Ishmael?"  God just told him what amazing blessing He has in store and all Abraham can think of is the lesser blessing he already has.  (Now don't freak out, I'm not devaluing Ishmael or his descendants, this is not about that).  What is your 'Ishmael'?  What things/relationships/places/ect. are we holding onto in our lives that are keeping us from receiving the real blessing God has for us?  Is God holding something life-changing out there for you (an 'Isaac') and all you have to do is release your 'Ishmael'?  And God made a promise to Abraham that Ishmael would be well blessed also.  Is your holding on to 'Ishmael' keeping a blessing from not only you, but 'Ishmael' also?  Are you staying in a relationship that is holding both of you back from receiving God's abundant blessing?  Are you clinging to a habit, a character trait, an item, even another blessing that is keeping you from being able to receive 'Isaac'?  Am I?  What are those things?  What a challenge to think about.

Also, something that has been impressed upon me recently is that love is not about happy.  Marriage is not about happy.  It is about serving the other and lifting them up to God above all else.  I think that sometimes people think that in a "good" marriage you are always happy and content to be with the other person.  It's important to know that this is not the case.  In a Biblical marriage you put God first and the other person second.  I'm not saying be a doormat or to neglect your own personal, emotional and spiritual needs, but rather to serve as Jesus served.  I can't get Jesus washing the disciples' feet out of my mind. 

Good Night, all.  Have a wonderful Monday!

Lately I have been brought to tears by nearly every worship song I sing. I can't seem to get the words out without their meanings striking my heart in such a way that I am moved to tears. Here are a few lyrics that have brought me to tears in the past few weeks.

"How could I but love you, my Savior and my God? How could I but serve you when in my life you've been so faithful and true? How could I but follow you when all your ways lead to freedom and life? How could I but love you, my Savior and my God?"

"Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee. Take my moments and my days. Let them flow in ceaseless praise...Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love. Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee...Take my voice and let me sing always, only, for my King"

"Before you came we were stranded in the dark, bearing wounded hearts without hope. Before you came we were drifting on the sea, desperate and in need, sinking low. We cried for help because we could not save ourselves. You heard, you saw, you knew and you felt it all. You wept when you watched us fall, but you could not stay away. And you came. And when you came you were every hope fulfilled, all that's good revealed, love divine. And when you came, you were fellowship restored. You fed us with your Word, Bread of Life. When we were crushed underneath the weight of living...you came...and I am overwhelmed and I am overcome. I am breathless in your presence, I am humbled by your love."

Sometimes it scares me to sing words to worship songs. This is sometimes because I think of all the times that I have sung lyrics with an insincere heart. It's also sometimes because I am simply overwhelmed by the wash of the Spirit when my heart is sincere and the feeling of weight being lifted off of me. Those feelings are awesome in the very sense of the word--awe striking. I can't describe it...terrifying and peaceful at the same time. My point is that it has been impressed upon me in recent months just how important it is to prepare my heart for singing in worship. It requires more than knowing the song backward and forward, it requires study and prayer and humility. I share all this because when I saw this demonstrated in another's life and felt the conviction about it in my life I felt like I suddenly came a little closer to "getting it" and I hope this evokes thought in your life and heart as well.

well, I like the look, but I can't figure out how to make the very top and bottom not pink and teal. Oh well.